If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will believe in you.
If you don’t believe you are capable of achieving your dreams, your dreams will never come true.
Believing in yourself is the first step to making your dreams a reality.
Look around you, and you may see people telling you to play it safe. You may hear the voices of those who thought about doing what you want to do, but decided to pursue something a little more “pragmatic.” You may hear people say that it’s okay to dream, but eventually you should grow up and realize that those dreams were never meant to be - that they were nothing more than childish fantasies. You may read horror stories about people who ventured onto the path at your feet, only to fail in spectacular fashion.
Do you take these stories to heart?
I tell you now, your self-belief is the foundation upon which all of your success will be built.
Believing in yourself starts with creating and maintaining a self-concept that is conducive to believing in yourself. This sort of self-concept is one that allows you to persevere through difficult times. It is one that maintains a laser-like focus on a vision - a vision of who you really are, a vision of what you are truly capable of. It is one that doesn’t take to heart the doubts and concerns of those who don’t have the courage to see their own vision through to the end. It is one that doesn’t take to heart the falters and missteps one makes as they journey through life. This sort of self-concept is strong and durable, and allows one to overcome any challenge one is confronted with in their life.
Can we create such a self-concept if it doesn’t already exist?
One’s self-concept is created and propped up by the thoughts and stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Take a moment and ask yourself a few questions:
Who are you?
What do you think about yourself?
What characteristics define you?
And perhaps a less obvious question:
What assumptions do you make about yourself, and are those assumptions empirically correct?
You may notice that your answers to these questions often involve “I am” in some way, shape or form.
“I am kind and caring.”
“I am shy.”
“I am poor.”
“I am not very good at _______”
“I am pretty good at ________”
Upon closer analysis, you may notice that every time you did well at something, you were inclined to believe a little more that there was some inherent quality about you that made you particularly good at that thing.
Perhaps you will also find that each time you didn’t do so great at something, you believed you just weren’t good at it.
After all, don’t some people just “get it”?
Doesn’t everyone have unique personalities and skillsets? This much may be true. But what one lacks in natural talent, one can make up for in hard work and consistent practice. Just because you don’t do well at something the first time, or even the first 10 times, doesn’t mean you aren’t good at it.
What do YOU believe about yourself?
Do you believe you can do anything? Do you believe that you can develop and cultivate skills you don’t have yet in order to improve your life? Do you believe that by showing up every day and putting in persistent practice, you can eventually achieve what may right now seem impossible? If you believe those things about yourself, and behave in accordance with those beliefs, those things will manifest themselves in your life. If you don’t believe them, by default your behavior will fall in alignment with those beliefs.
Consider this:
If it is true that our behaviors determine, in part, the “I am” statements we use to define ourselves, isn’t it also true that our “I am” statements determine, in part, our behavior? Could it be that we are not merely products of our circumstances - but that our circumstances are, in a way, a direct reflection of our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves and the world around us?
If this is true, then we can restructure our behavior by changing the “I am” statements we say to ourselves in our heads, and vice versa. By changing our beliefs attitudes about ourselves and the world around us, we can restructure and change ourselves and the world around us.
Positive affirmations are a powerful tool that aid us in our quest to restructure the beliefs that make up our core identity.
Positive affirmations are statements that are made in the present tense that describe us as we would like to be - as we truly are. They are statements that we say to ourselves in our head that can change the way we see ourselves. There are countless resources that discuss positive affirmations more in depth, and I won’t go into a lengthy discussion in this post. However, I will say this: the statements must be said as if they were true, even if we don’t believe they are at first. It may feel strange to say that you are confident if you don’t really feel confident. That is okay. With time and persistent practice, you will begin to accept them as truths, and you may be surprised to find that your behaviors will begin to align with those beliefs.
Beginning in June 2020, I will be posting once a week on four groups of “I am” statements that can be useful in our daily lives:
1) “I am confident and capable.”
2) “I am centered and calm.”
3) “I am dedicated and persistent.”
4) “I am alert and ready.”
Each of these groups will be accompanied by poetic written statements in alignment with the weekly focus and a musical track with vocal overdubs.
I hope you will join me in June as we explore these concepts. Let’s explore them together.
What do you have to lose?